Elliot Parker is insane if he thinks that an out of the blue private Facebook message stipulating the binding law of an oral contractual agreement is going to seal our twenty-two-year bullsh*t engagement.
Take a girlfriend. Divert the press from the f-up mess that’s my family until my father is re-elected. Stage a public breakup. Move on. Only that brilliant plan went straight south the moment I set eyes on Willow Blackwell.